It’s Your Fault


Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
~ Gandhi

“You did this to me!”

We might not say those words out loud, but we are definitely thinking them when we are victimized by someone.

I want you to feel bad for hurting me. I want you to feel guilty, shameful, and remorseful. I want you to apologize for what you did. And I want you to right this wrong.

But the truth of the matter is that no one can truly hurt us without our permission.

While people may do hateful, vicious things – and they will – it is still up to us to determine our response, including our feelings.

Gandhi wasn’t saying that our bodies can’t be hurt and brutalized. Of course they can.

But who we are is beyond our body. The “me” he is referring to is our sense of self.

Our true self can’t be hurt by anyone or anything – other than our decision for victimhood.

And then we can make a different choice.

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