Respond vs. React
Once we realize that other people are not responsible for our lack of peace, does that mean that we simply let them off the hook for their awful behavior?
That’s a question often asked by many spiritual seekers. If happiness and sadness come from within – nothing to do with the world or other people – then how should we respond when confronted with clear injustice?
Do we simply overlook it, affecting some sort of veiled forgiveness?
Pretend it didn’t happen since it’s all an illusion?
Shame or guilt victimizers into changing their ways?
No, no, and no.
An insightful line from A Course in Miracles states “frightened people can be vicious.”
We are all those frightened people, and we all know viciousness.
Whenever we are confronted with such ugliness, the most helpful thing we can do is to assess our emotions. If we are feeling any sort of uneasiness, distress, anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness, or anything other than a peaceful calm – then we pause there and recognize we’ve chosen our ego mind.
From here, we return to the stately calm within and make a different choice – choosing the mind of peace instead of fear.
In that instant, we become, in the words of St. Francis, an instrument of peace.
Whatever actions or words are most helpful for the situation will automatically flow through us. Including, possibly, a strong or forceful response. In that moment, we lose all sense of “me-ness”. It’s as if we’re simply a channel, or communication device, that is conveying a message.
Because we’ve temporarily transcended the sense of I, there is no ego involved. No projection of fear. No vested interest in the outcome.
In the words of Jack Kornfield, we respond instead of react. And in that response lies escape from all pain and suffering.
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